![pro-toruni](https://www.probasbangla.info/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pro-toruni-696x392.jpg)
কথায় আছে সংসার সুখের হয় রমণীর গুণে। শুধু সংসার কেন, যে কোন সম্পর্কের ভালো মন্দটাই ছেলেদের চাইতে মেয়েদের মানসিকতার ওপর নির্ভর করে বেশিরভাগ ক্ষেত্রেই, কেননা সহজাত ভাবেই সম্পর্ক নিয়ে নারীরা খেলে থাকেন কিছু মাইন্ড গেম!
একটি সম্পর্ক কোন দিকে যাবে তা একজন পুরুষের ওপর যতটুকু নির্ভর করে, ঠিক ততোটুকুই একজন নারীর ওপরেও করে। কোন কোন ক্ষেত্রে এইসব মাইন্ড গেমের কারণে, নারীর ভূমিকাটা বরং যেন একটু বেশি।
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কেউ স্বীকার করুক আর না করুক, নারীরা অদ্ভুত কিছু খেলা খেলে থাকেন পছন্দের পুরুষের সাথে। খেলা না বলে বাজিয়ে দেখা বললে মনে হয় বেশি ভালো শোনায়। সব নারী নন, তবে কিছু নারী অবশ্যই এই কাজটি করে থাকেন। কেন?
পছন্দের পুরুষকে নিজের নিয়ন্ত্রণে রাখা, বাড়তি মনযোগ পাওয়া, চাপ প্রয়োগ করে বিয়ে বা কমিটমেনটে রাজি করানো,নিজের অধিকার ফলানো সহ নানান রকম অদ্ভুত কারণ আছে এর নেপথ্যে।
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পুরুষের সাথে নারীদের মনস্তাত্ত্বিক এই খেলাকে মাইন্ড গেইম বলা যেতে পারে। দেখে নেয়া যাক সম্পর্কের ক্ষেত্রে মেয়েরা যে মাইন্ড গেমগুলো খেলে থাকেন, সেগুলো আসলে কী’ কী’–
বোকা ও অসহায় সেজে থাকা:
বেশিরভাগ পুরুষ ভাবেন মেয়েরা বোকা। বিশেষ করে নিজের প্রেমিকা বা স্ত্রীর ক্ষেত্রে এই ধারণা আরও অনেক বেশি পোক্ত। তবে জেনে রাখুন, বেশিরভাগ ক্ষেত্রেই এই ধারণা মেয়েটি স্বয়ং তৈরি করে থাকে! কেননা তাতে চোখের অলক্ষ্যেই সম্পর্কের নিয়ন্ত্রণ রাখা যায় নিজের হাতে।
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এটা বৈজ্ঞানিক ভাবে প্রমানিত যে সম্পর্ক ও সামাজিকতার সুক্ষ্ম চালগুলো মেয়েরা অনেক বেশি ভালো বোঝে। ফলে বেশিরভাগ নারীই তার পছন্দের পুরুষের সামনে বোকা ও অসহায় সেজে থাকার এক প্রকারের নাটক করে, যে নাটক পুরুষটির সাথে তার সম্পর্ককে করে তোলে অনেক বেশি পোক্ত।
আর এই জন্যই বন্ধু মহলে অনেক মারকুটে স্বভাবের একটি মেয়েই নিজের প্রেমিকের সামনে দেখা যাচ্ছে একদম পরনির্ভরশীল একজন মানুষে পরিণত হয়।
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কিন্তু কেন করে এমন?
এর কারন হিসেবে সাইকোলজিক্যাল এক্সপার্টরা পুরুষের বোকামিকেই দায়ী মনে করেন। অনেক ছেলেই বোকা মেয়েদেরকে বেশি পছন্দ করে। কথাটি ঘুরিয়ে বলতে গেলে বলতে হয়, অনেক ছেলেই চান না তার সঙ্গী তার থেকে বেশি বুঝুক বা বেশি বুদ্ধিমতী হোক।
সঙ্গিনী আত্মনির্ভর হওয়ার চাইতে তার প্রতি নির্ভরশীল হওয়াটাই অধিক পছন্দ করেন বেশিরভাগ পুরুষ। এবং পৃথিবীতে কোন পুরুষই চান না যে স্ত্রী’ বা প্রেমিকা তার চাইতে বেশি সফল বা বেশি স্মার্ট হোক। পছন্দের পুরুষের এই চাওয়া পূরণ করতেই বা চাওয়া পূরণের মাধ্যমে পুরুষটিকে আপন করে পেতেই মেয়েরা খেলে থাকে এই বোকা ও অসহায় সাজার মাইন্ড গেম!
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একজন পুরুষ তাকে সারাক্ষণ দেখেশুনে রাখছেন কিংবা তার সমস্ত খুঁটিনাটি ভালোমন্দের দিকে খেয়াল দিচ্ছেন-এই ব্যাপারটি নারীরা রীতিমত উপভোগ করেন ও এটাই কামনা করেন সম্পর্কে।
অপেক্ষা করানো:
অপেক্ষা করানো নারীদের স্বভাব-এ কথা সহজেই স্বীকার করে নেবেন বেশিরভাগ পুরুষ। তবে জেনে রাখুন,এটা নারীর সভাব নয়, বরং তার মাইন্ড গেমের সূক্ষ্ম একটা চাল। খুব সাধারণ একটি উদাহরণ দেই- ডেটিং এর ক্ষেত্রে বেশির সময় ছেলেটিকেই অপেক্ষা করতে হয়। দেখা গেল প্রেমিক নির্দিষ্ট স্থানে পৌঁছানোর পর প্রেমিকা বাসা থেকে বের হচ্ছে। এসব ছাড়াও প্রেমের প্রস্তাবে “হ্যাঁ” বলতে দেরি করা সহ নানান বিষয়ে নারীরা প্রেমিককে অপেক্ষা করান।
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কিন্তু নারীরা কেন এই কাজটি করেন?
অনেকে ভাবেন মেয়েরা এই কাজটি করে বেশ মজা পান। কিন্তু সাইকোলজিস্টদের মতে মেয়েরা মনস্তাত্ত্বিক কারনে এই কাজটি করে থাকেন।
তারা বলেন এই কাজটির মাধ্যমে মেয়েরা নিজেদের গুরুত্বপূর্ণ বলে ভাবতে পারেন। এবং সম্পর্কে তার নিজের একটি ভালো অবস্থান গড়ে নেয়ার জন্য এই কাজটি মেয়েরা করেন। এতে আবার ছেলেরা ভেবে বসবেন না যে এখন থেকে আর সঙ্গীর জন্য অপেক্ষা করব না। না করলে কিন্তু হারাতে হবে সঙ্গিনীকে!
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কথার সূক্ষ্ম প্যাঁচে ফেলা:
একটি কাজ মেয়েরা হরহামেশাই করে থাকেন আর তা হলো, কোন বিশেষ পোশাকে কিংবা মেকআপে তাকে কেমন দেখাচ্ছে তা সঙ্গীকে জিজ্ঞেস করা। এটা আরেকটি প্যাঁচালো মাইন্ড গেম। কারণ সঙ্গী ইতিবাচক কিংবা নেতিবাচক যাই উত্তর দিক না কেন, মেয়েরা নিজেদের মনে দুইটি উত্তরের জন্যই জবাব তৈরি করে রাখে।
যেমন, যদি সঙ্গী বলেন ভালো দেখাচ্ছে না, তাহলে কী হবে সেটা বলে দেয়ার প্রয়োজন নেই। কিন্তু যদি বলেন ভালো দেখাচ্ছে, সঙ্গিনী তখন খুঁটিয়ে খুঁটিয়ে জিজ্ঞেশ করবেন যে- কোনটা ভালো দেখাচ্ছে? এতদিন কি তবে ভালো দেখাত না? ভালো না লাগলে আগে বলেনি কেন?
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ইত্যাদি আরও নানান কথার মারপ্যাঁচ। সুতরাং এই মাইন্ড গেমে পুরুষ যাই বলুন না কেন, বিপদে পড়া এক প্রকার অনিবার্য। ছেলেদের জন্য বলছি মিষ্টি হেসে সোজা করে উত্তর দিন-”তোমাকে সব কিছুতেই ভালো লাগে”, কেননা নারী এই জবাবটিই শুনতে চান। নিশ্চিত হতে চান যে আপনার চোখে তিনিই সেরা সুন্দরী।
নিজেকে দুষ্প্রাপ্য করে তোলা:
বেশিরভাগ নারীই নিজেকে দুষ্প্রাপ্য করে রাখতে ভালোবাসেন। এমন একটি অবস্থানে নিজেকে নিয়ে যেতে ভালোবাসেন, যেখানে পৌঁছাতে হলে পুরুষটিকে অনেক কাঠখড় পোড়াতে হয়। যেমন, প্রেমিককে সময় না দেয়া কিংবা নানান বাহানায় সময় দেয়ার বিষয়টি এড়িয়ে যাওয়া।
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বেশিরভাগ ক্ষেত্রে পারিবারিক বাহানাই দিয়ে থাকেন নারীরা এই দুষ্প্রাপ্য করে তোলার কৌশলে। একজন পুরুষ তাকে পাবার জন্য দিনের পর দিন অপেক্ষা করছে, কিংবা যে কোন পরিস্থিতিতে তাকে পাবার জন্য ব্যাকুল-এই ব্যাপারটি নিয়ে নারীরা এক রকম অহংকার বোধ করে থাকেন।
অন্য পুরুষ সম্পর্কে ঈর্ষা তৈরি করা:
এই খেলাটিও বেশিরভাগ নারী খেলে থাকেন। বিশেষ করে পছন্দের পুরুষটি যখন তাকে অবহেলা করে বা খারাপ ব্যবহার করে,তখন নারীর মোক্ষম অস্ত্র হচ্ছে অন্য একজন পুরুষ। অনেক ক্ষেত্রে দেখা যায় নারীরা ইচ্ছা করেই অন্য একজন পুরুষের দিকে মনযোগী হচ্ছেন। বেশিরভাগ ক্ষেত্রে এই পুরুষটি হয়ে থাকে প্রেমিকেরই কোন বন্ধু বা নারীটির প্রাক্তন প্রেমিক।
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অনেক নারী আবার কাল্পনিক পুরুষ চরিত্র তৈরি করে প্রেমিককে নানান রকম মনগড়া কাহিনী শুনিয়ে থাকেন। সবমিলিয়ে ব্যাপার আর কিছুই নয়, প্রেমিকের মনে এক রকমের ঈর্ষা তৈরি করা। এই ঈর্ষা পুরুষের মাঝে এত প্রবল হয় যে পছন্দের নারী অন্য কারো দিকে মনযোগী হচ্ছে এটা চিন্তা করেই তারা আবার প্রেমিকার দিকে মনযোগী হয়।
আগ্রহ না দেখানো:
এই খেলাটি অনেক মেয়েরাই সম্পর্কের শুরুতে করে থাকেন। সঙ্গীর কাছে সে কতোটুকু গুরুত্বপূর্ণ তা পরীক্ষা করার জন্য। মেয়েরা জন্মগতভাবেই খুব কৌতূহলী স্বভাবের হয়ে থাকে। সব ব্যাপারেই খুঁটিনাটি মেয়েদের জানার আগ্রহ বেশি থাকে।
কিন্তু সম্পর্কের শুরুতে একটি মেয়ে তার সঙ্গীর কাছে কোন ব্যাপারে জিজ্ঞেস করে জানার ব্যাপারে উদাসীনতা দেখায়, কিংবা সঙ্গীর কোন ব্যাপারেই বিশেষ গুরুত্ব বা আগ্রহ দেখান না। এর পিছনে কারন রয়েছে। এর কারন হলো মেয়েটি জানতে চান ছেলেটির কাছে তিনি কতোটুকু গুরুত্ব পাচ্ছেন। কারন মেয়েটি ভেবে নেয়,” আমি যদি তার কাছে গুরুত্বপূর্ণ হই তাহলে সে নিজেই আমাকে সব বলবে, আর তাই নিশ্চিত থাকুন যে তাদের অনাগ্রহ প্রকাশ আসলে ভেতরে ভেতরে অতি আগ্রহের বহিঃপ্রকাশ।