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প্রতিটি বিবাহিত নারীরই কাম্য স্বামী, সন্তান নিয়ে সুখে থাকা। পরিবারকে পরম ভালোবাসায় বেঁধে রাখতে তাই চেষ্টারও কমতি থাকে না তাদের।
স্বামীর ভালোবাসায় সিক্ত থাকতে চান প্রতিটি স্ত্রী। তবে স্বামীদেরই কিছু ভুলের কারণে প্রায় দেখা যায় নারীরা অন্য পুরুষেদের প্রতি আকৃষ্ট হচ্ছে।
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যদিও বেশিরভাগ পুরুষ তা মানতে চান না।তারপরও এটিই সত্যি। গবেষকরা অনেক গবেষণা করে বিবাহিত নারীদের পরকীয়ায় জড়ানোর ৫টি কারণ খুঁজে বের করেছেন।চলুন তবে জেনে নেয়া যাক সেই কারণগুলো-
১) স্ত্রীর প্রতি স্বামীর দৃষ্টি আকর্ষণের অভাব- প্রত্যেক স্ত্রী-ই চায় স্বামীর মনোযোগ পেতে। ছোটখাটো হাসি মজা করতে। তবে নানারকম কারণে বা স্বামীর ব্যস্ততা তাতে বাধা হয়ে দাঁড়ায়। যার ফলে দিন দিন স্ত্রীর মন ভাঙতে থাকে। সঙ্গ পাওয়ার জন্যই একসময় তারা পরকীয়ায় জড়িয়ে যান।
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২) সারাদিন স্ত্রীর দোষ ধরা- অনেক স্বামী আছেন যারা স্ত্রীর ছোট ছোট কাজেও ভুল ধরতে থাকে। স্ত্রীর কোনো কাজই তার মন মতো হয় না। যদিও স্বামীর মন জয়ের ক্ষেত্রে স্ত্রীর চেষ্টার কোনো কমতি থাকে না।
তারপরও সে ব্যর্থ হয়। এক্ষেত্রে অন্য পুরুষের কাছে নিজের প্রশংসা শোনা তাকে আকৃষ্ট করে। তখন ধীরে ধীরে সে তার সঙ্গে পরকীয়ার সম্পর্ক গড়ে তোলেন।
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৩) প্রয়োজনের চাইতে বেশি কৃপণতা- অনেক পুরুষ আছে যারা সঞ্চয়ের নামে অতিরিক্ত কৃপণতা করেন। এমনকি খুব দরকারি জিনিসগুলোও স্ত্রীদের এনে দিতে কার্পণ্য করেন। এই ধরনের স্বামীদের প্রতি তিক্ত হয়ে স্ত্রীরা পরকীয়া করেন।
৪) স্ত্রীর মতামত কিংবা সিদ্ধান্তকে মূল্য না দেয়া- অনেক স্বামীই আছেন, যারা মনে করেন নিজে যা চিন্তা করছেন বা সিদ্ধান্ত নিয়েছেন তা একদম ঠিক। এক্ষেত্রে স্ত্রীর কোনো মতামতকেই সে গুরুত্ব দেন না। যা একজন না’রীর জন্য মেনে নেয়া কষ্টকর হয়ে পড়ে। যা একসময় তাকে পরকীয়ায় জড়াতে বাধ্য করে দেয়।
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৫) স্ত্রীকে সময় না দেয়া- আমাদের সমাজে এমন অনেক পুরুষ আছেন যারা মনে করেন বিয়ের পর স্ত্রীর কাজ শুধু বংশ এগিয়ে নিয়ে যাওয়া।তাদের ঘর সামলানো ছাড়া আর কোনো কাজ নেই।
৬) নিঃসঙ্গতা: চাকরি শেষে অনেক মহিলাই সন্ধ্যার মধ্যে ঘরে ফেরেন। কিন্তু তাঁদের স্বামীরা দেরি করে ফেরে। অনেকের স্বামী আবার অনেক দূরে কাজ করেন। এর ফলে বিবাহিতাদের মধ্যে নিঃসঙ্গতা বাড়ে। এই জন্য পরকীয়ায় জড়ানোর সম্ভাবনা বাড়ে।
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৭) লোভ: বিবাহিত জীবনে যৌন-সম্পর্কে অখুশি থাকে।
৮) বুদ্ধিবৃত্তিক তারতম্য: স্বামী এবং স্ত্রীর মধ্যে বুদ্ধিবৃত্তিক তারতম্য, বা ইন্টেলেকচুয়াল ডিফারেন্সর কারণেও পরকীয়া হয়ে থাকে।
৯) স্বামীর দৃষ্টি আকর্ষণের অভাব: নানারকম কারণে অনেকের ক্ষেত্রেই স্বামীর মনোযোগ পায়না। এ থেকেই আসে মনোভঙ্গ। এর থেকেই করে থাকে পরকীয়া।
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১০) অর্থ এবং ক্ষমতা: ভারতে,পরপুরুষের অর্থ এবং ক্ষমতার লোভে অনেকে ঘর ছেড়ে গেছেন। কিন্তু ভারতে নারীদের সংখ্যা এই ক্ষেত্রে অনেক কম।
তাই তারা তাদের স্ত্রীদেরও সময় দেন না। নিজের মতো করে সময় কাটান। স্ত্রীদের ভালো লাগা মন্দ লাগা নিয়ে চিন্তাও করেন না। তাদের এ ধরনের ব্যবহারের কারণে একসময় স্ত্রী পরকীয়ায় জড়িয়ে পড়েন।
পরকীয়া থেকে বিরত রাখতে ১০ দিকনির্দেশনা
শরিয়তের দৃষ্টিকোণ থেকে ইসলামিক স্কলারদের মতামতের ভিত্তিতে মারাত্মক অপরাধ পরকীয়া, যেনা-ব্যভিচার থেকে নিজেদের রক্ষা করতে রয়েছে গুরুত্বপূর্ণ দিকনির্দেশনা।
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>>স্বামীর সঙ্গে থাকা
স্ত্রী যদি প্রবল আশঙ্কা করে যে, স্বামীর অনুপস্থিতিতে নিজেকে নিয়ন্ত্রণ করতে সক্ষম হবে না বা যেনা-ব্যভিচার ও পাপাচারে জড়িয়ে পড়বে; তাহলে শরিয়তের দৃষ্টিতে স্বামীর কাছে তার এ দাবি করার অধিকার আছে যে-
-হয় সে (স্বামী) তাকে (স্ত্রীকে) সঙ্গে করে বিদেশে নিয়ে যাবে। অথবা
-স্বামী তাকে রেখে একাকী বিদেশ বা দূরের সফর থেকে বিরত থাকবে।
কারণ বিয়ের অন্যতম উদ্দেশ্য হলো নিজের ইজ্জত-সম্ভ্রম হেফাজত করা এবং গোনাহের কাজ থেকে নিজেকে রক্ষা করা।
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>>খোলা তালাক নেয়া
স্বামী যদি স্ত্রীর দাবি, একসঙ্গে থাকার পরামর্শ বা নিষেধাজ্ঞা উপেক্ষা করে অর্থ উপার্জনের উদ্দেশ্যে দূরে কোথাও গমন করে তাহলে স্ত্রীর জন্য ‘খোলা তালাক’ নেয়া জায়েজ আছে। এতে স্বামীর দূরে অবস্থানের কারণে বিয়ের অন্যতম মূল উদ্দেশ্য ব্যাহত হয় এবং নারীর ঈমান ও চরিত্র ক্ষতিগ্রস্ত হয় কিংবা ক্ষতিগ্রস্ত হওয়ার সম্ভাবনার আশঙ্কাই বেশি।
-খোলা তালাক : কোনো কিছুর বিনিময়ে স্ত্রী নিজেকে বিচ্ছিন্ন করে নেয়াই হলো খোলা তালাক। এক্ষেত্রে স্বামী সে বিনিময়টি গ্রহণ করে স্ত্রীকে বিচ্ছিন্ন করে (তালাক) দেবে। এ বিনিময় হতে পারে স্বামীর দেয়া মোহরানার টাকা কিংবা এর চেয়ে বেশি সম্পদ কিংবা কম।
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>>আমল করা
যাদের স্বামী দূরে থাকে তাদের জন্য যদি উল্লিখিত কোনোটিই সম্ভব না হয় তবে-
– ধৈর্যধারণ করবে,
– নিয়মিত নফল রোজা রাখবে; বিশেষ করে সোম ও বৃহস্পতিবার এবং আরবি মাসের ১৩, ১৪ ও ১৫ তারিখের আইয়্যামে বিজের রোজা রাখা। এবং
– কুরআন তেলাওয়াত ও অধ্যয়ন, ইসলামিক জ্ঞানার্জন, সাংসারিক ও অন্যান্য উপকারী কাজকর্মসহ নিজেকে ইবাদত বন্দেগি ব্যস্ত রাখার চেষ্টা করা।
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>>স্বামীর সঙ্গে যোগাযোগ রাখা
নিয়মিত স্বামীর সঙ্গে যোগাযোগ রক্ষা করে একে অপরের প্রতি সুসম্পর্ক ও ভালোবাসা অটুট রাখার সর্বোচ্চ চেষ্টা অব্যাহত রাখা।
>>অশ্লীল বিনোদন পরিহার করা
নাটক, সিনেমা, গান-বাজনা, অশ্লীলতা ও অসৎসঙ্গ তথা যৌন উত্তেজক সব মাধ্যম থেকে নিজেকে দূরে রাখা। কারণ যৌন উত্তেজক এসব বিষয়গুলো মানুষের মনে কু-প্রবৃত্তি ও কামনা-বাসনার আকাঙ্ক্ষাকে বাড়িয়ে দেয়। সুতরাং তা থেকে বিরত থাকা খুবই জরুরি।
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>>গায়রে মাহরাম থেকে দূরে থাকা
মাহরাম নয়, এমন পরপুরুষের সঙ্গে দেখা-সাক্ষাৎ ও যোগাযোগ না রাখা। কেননা চারিত্রিক নির্মলতা ও মানসিক পবিত্রতা রক্ষায় এটি খুবই জরুরি।
বিশেষ করে স্বামীর অনুপস্থিতিতে-
স্বামীর বা নিজের নিকটাত্মীয় তথা- দেবর, ভাসুর, চাচাতো ভাই, ফুফাতো ভাই, মামাতো ভাই, খালাতো ভাই, ভগ্নিপতি (দুলাভাই) বেয়াই ইত্যাদি ব্যক্তিকে নিজ ঘরে প্রবেশের সুযোগ না দেয়া। প্রয়োজন না থাকলে যোগাযোগ তথা দেখা-সাক্ষাৎ না করাই উত্তম।
একান্তই প্রয়োজন হলে, পরিপূর্ণ পর্দার সঙ্গে সামনে না এসে পেছন থেকে কথা বলা। কথা বলার ক্ষেত্রে হাসাহাসি, আবেগ ও কোমল কণ্ঠ পরিহার করাও আবশ্যক।
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>>ফেতনা থেকে দূরে থাকা
গায়রে মাহরাম তথা যাদের সঙ্গে দেখা করা হারাম, সেসব পুরুষের সঙ্গে হাসি, দুষ্টুমি, হাতাহাতি, সামনা-সামনি খেলাধুলা, স্পর্শ এবং বিনা প্রয়োজনে দৃষ্টিপাত, কথাবার্তা, ফোনালাপ, মেসেজিং, ভিডিও চ্যাটিংসহ কোনো জিনিস-পত্র আদান প্রদান থেকে দূরে থাকা আবশ্যক।
কেননা এসব কর্মকাণ্ডের মাধ্যমে ফেতনা সংঘটিত হয়। আর এর মাধ্যমেই পরকীয়া, যেনা-ব্যভিচার ও পাপাচারের মতো মারাত্মক অপরাধের বীজ অঙ্কুরিত হয়।
>>বিশ্বস্ত নারীর সঙ্গে থাকা
শয়তানের কুমন্ত্রণা ও কু-প্রবৃত্তির তাড়না থেকে বাঁচতে যেসব স্ত্রীর স্বামীরা পরিবার হতে দূরে অবস্থান করে তাদের একাকী কোথাও বসবাস না করাই ভালো। যাদের সন্তান আছে, তারা সন্তানদের সঙ্গে রাখবে। সন্তান না থাকলে সম্ভব হলে মা, বোন, বোনের মেয়ে, ভাইয়ের মেয়ে, ননদ, শাশুড়ি, মা, বাবা কিংবা আপনসহ নিকটাত্মীয় নারীদের সঙ্গে থাকা উত্তম।
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>>অযথা বাইরে না যাওয়া
ঘর কিংবা বাসার বাইরে না যাওয়া। একান্ত প্রয়োজনে কাছাকাছি বাইরে যাওয়ার দরকার হলে, পূর্ণাঙ্গ পর্দার সঙ্গে বের হওয়া এবং যথাযথ দায়িত্ব পালন করা। বাইরে বের হওয়ার ক্ষেত্রে যে বিষয়গুলো বেশি খেয়াল রাখা জরুরি। তা হলো-
-কোনোভাবেই সুগন্ধি ব্যবহার না করা। যা মানুষকে আকর্ষণ করে।
-এমন সাজসজ্জা গ্রহণ না করা যাতে পরপুরুষের দৃষ্টি আকর্ষণ হয়।
-হাত, মুখমণ্ডল ও পা ঢেকে রাখা।
-বোরকা ও হিজাব চাকচিক্যপূর্ণ না হওয়া।
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>>আল্লাহকে ভয় করা
সর্বোপরি মহান আল্লাহকে বেশি বেশি ভয় করা। যেনা-ব্যভিচার, পাপাচার ও পরকীয়ার জন্য দুনিয়ার শাস্তির পাশাপাশি পরকালের জাহান্নামের শাস্তির কথা অন্তরে জাগ্রত রাখা। স্ত্রী অথবা স্বামীর আবেগ ও ভালোবাসাপূর্ণ কথাগুলো বেশি বেশি স্মরণ করা এবং প্রিয় মানুষটি ও নিজের জন্য আল্লাহর কাছে সাহায্য প্রার্থনা করা।
বিবাহিত ও অবিবাহিত সব মুমিন-মুমিনা পুরুষ-নারীদের উচিত কুরআন সুন্নাহ নির্দেশিত শৃঙ্খলিত জীবন যাপন করা। আল্লাহর সাহায্য কামনা করা।
আল্লাহ তা’আলা মুসলিম উম্মাহর সব বিবাহিত ও অবিবাহিত পুরুষ-নারীর পরকীয়া, যেনা-ব্যভিচার ও পাপাচার থেকে হেফাজত থাকতে ইসলামি দিকনির্দেশনা মেনে চলার তাওফিক দান করুন। দুনিয়া ও পরকালের কল্যাণে নিজেদের ইসলামি জীবন-যাপনে অভ্যস্ত হওয়ার তাওফিক দান করুন। আমিন।